BUCS! booked for Ruth Eckerd Hall

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have signed an agreement to adapt their 2020 season into a multi-media musical theatre presentation to be performed at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater.

“We’re so excited to bring the spectacular magic and pageantry of this incredible Tampa Bay Buccaneers football season to the stage”, said Bobby Rossi, CPO/Executive Vice President of Entertainment for the venue. “The show, titled BUCS!, will be a dramatic re-telling of the 2020 season, from the first preseason exhibition game against the Steelers in August to the eventual outcome of Super Bowl LV next Sunday, whatever that happens to be, and will feature original songs and dance routines.” Songs will include “What Down Is It Anyway?“, “Get Off The Field, You Idiot“, “The Emperors New Clothes” and “Get Off My Property, You Idiot“

He added, “It will either be a triumph or a tragedy. The climax has yet to be written! BUCS! will chronicle every touchdown, fumble, sack and interception along the way. Everything except for the field goals and punts because nobody cares about those.”

The show is expected to appeal to any Buccaneers fans who are unable to get Super Bowl tickets. “In other words, all of them”, said Rossi. Ticket prices start at $35.

Almost every member of the team will be part of the cast, including star quarterback Tom Brady. Among the terms in the contract Brady signed when he joined the Buccaneers as a free agent is a clause that obligates him to participate in any musicals based on the team making it to any Super Bowls while he is under contract. This clause also binds most of his teammates to the same conditions. The two exceptions are kicker Ryan Succop and punter Bradley Pinion because nobody cares about them.

Broadway veteran Nathan Lane has been cast to portray head coach Bruce Arians.

Also participating will be tight end Rob Gronkowski, who is excited about being part of it. “There are many valid criticisms of contemporary theatre, in particular that style frequently overwhelms substance, with spectacle taking precedence over storytelling. But at its roots, the theatre will always be a sophisticated expression of some basic human needs — one might call them instincts — to challenge convention and to mimic, to project stories onto ourselves and others, and to create meaning through narrative and metaphor. Theatre models for us a kind of public discourse that lies at the heart of democratic life, and builds our skills for listening to different sides of a conversation or argument, and empathizing with the struggles of our fellow human beings whatever their views may be”, he said. “And we’re gonna have smoke and lasers! It’s gonna be fuckin’ sick!!”

BUCS! will run Thursday through Saturday nights, with matinees on Sundays beginning February 11, the first Thursday after Super Bowl LV.