Search results for: brooksville
Brooksville changes its name
The city of Brooksville in Hernando County, originally named after a pro-slavery to the point of being physically violent South Carolina senator named Preston Brooks, has decided to change its name to Gosarville, in honor of anti-immigrant to the point of pretending to be physically violent Arizona congressman Paul Gosar. “For years, people – mostly…
Read MoreBrooksville praises re-naming of Cleveland baseball team
Following the announcement that Cleveland’s Major League Baseball team has decided to change it’s name from the Indians to the Guardians, the move received a surprising endorsement from the city of Brooksville, Florida. “We here in Brooksville wholeheartedly support this decision by the Cleveland baseball team. Sure, it’s the end of a tradition but let’s…
Read MoreStruggling salesman hopes to turn things around in Brooksville
Mike Skleed of Clearwater has found it extremely difficult to make a living with his current career path, but hopes a recent bureaucratic error could finally be his chance to hit it big. “I didn’t realize how tough this job would be when I signed up for it, but I should have figured that most…
Read MoreBrooksville doctor establishes link between diabetes and racism
A general practitioner in Brooksville has proven that there is a direct link between diabetes and racism. The theory of the two conditions possibly being related came to light last week when a high school basketball broadcaster in Oklahoma referred to the Norman High School girls basketball team kneeling during the national anthem prior to…
Read MoreMeghan and Harry plan move to Brooksville
“We’ve been in Los Angeles since leaving the UK but it’s very stilted and artificial”, said Prince Harry. “We need to be in an authentic, genuine environment, so we can raise our son Archie among real people.”
Read MoreCPAC stage sold to Brooksville man
The stage used at the recently concluded Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Hyatt Regency hotel in Orlando has been purchased by a man in Brooksville. “I’m thrilled to add such a beautiful and important piece to my collection”, said Vern Luger. “It is very pretty.” The stage’s design, featuring a diamond shape with…
Read MoreBrooksville residents line up to view Limbaugh mic
Residents of the Hernando County town named after one of America’s greatest racists began lining up to see the now-historic artifact early this morning. The queue stretched past the Florida Cracker Trading Company all the way to the Hernando Heritage Museum, which, surprisingly, is not the same thing as the Florida Cracker Trading Company.
Read MoreMorgan Wallen to perform at halftime of Brooksville cornhole tournament
Brooksville is finalizing preparation for their signature, annual sporting event: Hole-a-palooza, a massive cornhole tournament extravaganza. “We’re gonna have a halftime show that blows people away”, said event organizer Mortimer Oliver. He, along with Juggs magazine and Boost Mobile announced yesterday that Morgan Wallen will be the Juggs Magazine Hole-a-palooza XV Halftime Show performer. The…
Read MoreBrooksville influencer launches social media platform for racists
Todd Barbersack of Brooksville is a social media influencer and app designer, who believes he has invented what will be the next big thing in social media. He says, “It’s called MinstrelGram and it’s designed to celebrate a sadly unappreciated and forgotten form of very specific American entertainment: white people putting on blackface make-up to…
Read MoreBrooksville breaks world record for most incestuous weddings in one day
The town of Brooksville has broken the world record for most incestuous weddings in one day with 165, breaking the former record of 140, a record which was also held by Brooksville. “It feels amazing to break our own record,” Said City Council Vice Chairman, Donnica Redbull. “We didn’t even actually plan this, it just…
Read More