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Local film to get dark-and-gritty reboot

Plane Train Reboot

“Plane Train,” the beloved 2018 film produced by Tampa News that was featured at the Dunedin International Film Festival, is being rebooted by Warner Brothers Studios with a different, more violent storyline and different, more violent movie stars. “It’s time,” said James Cameron, the director attached to the project. The original “Plane Train” was a…

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Archeologists unearth first Tampa News Force article

First Article

On the eve of Tampa News Force (TNF) publishing their 2000th article, archaeologists from the University of South Florida (USF) announced an incredible discovery, the very first article published by TNF over 700 years ago. Long thought to have been lost or destroyed, the article was posted on April 1st, 1506 and is attributed to…

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Tampa man stealing utility worker valor

Dale in his truck

Dale Lipshaw of Tampa is driving around town in an old utility truck, trying to fool people into thinking he’s working to restore services to people impacted by Hurricane Ian. “That’s not entirely true,” he said. “I haven’t told anyone I work for a utility company. I do own this truck, and I did recently…

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St. Pete woman disqualified from Fun Run

Fun Runner

Dorothy Sterns, a sweet 97-year-old great-great grandmother from St. Petersburg was disqualified mid-race from the Annual Gobble Gobble Autumnal Wobble Fun Run sponsored by Boost Mobile earlier this morning. A race official who declined to give his name, which is Bill Wergersworth as indicated by the name tag he was wearing stated that Ms. Sterns…

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This year’s Lightning Fan Fest to be revamped and scaled back

Sergachev

As uncertainty continues to be part of the COVID-19 landscape, the Tampa Bay Lightning have announced that this year’s Fan Fest will happen but will be drastically different than it has been in the past. “We’re as eager as anyone to get ‘back to normal’ but the surge in COVID cases, complicated by variants that…

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Tampa’s Top 5 Roadside Merchants

Women Be Shopping

Hey, remember when you had to get in your car and drive to some fancy store with a display window and electric lights and like, a door or something, inside of some bourgeois mall like an asshole if you ever wanted to buy something? And then along came Web Sites® where you could buy anything…

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Tampa to monetize wrong-way drivers

Wrong Way Driver

In an effort to do SOMETHING about Tampa’s chronic problem with people driving in the wrong direction down one-way streets and interstate highways, the city has announced that it will attempt to exploit the situation in order to generate revenue. “Obviously, our preference would be for it not to happen at all”, said Tampa Mayor…

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Morgan Wallen to perform at halftime of Brooksville cornhole tournament

Hole-a-palooza

Brooksville is finalizing preparation for their signature, annual sporting event: Hole-a-palooza, a massive cornhole tournament extravaganza. “We’re gonna have a halftime show that blows people away”, said event organizer Mortimer Oliver. He, along with Juggs magazine and Boost Mobile announced yesterday that Morgan Wallen will be the Juggs Magazine Hole-a-palooza XV Halftime Show performer. The…

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USF plays in unsanctioned bowl game

Bulls Bowl

The USF Bulls, who went 1-8 (0-7 in the American Athletic Conference) this year played in a bowl game yesterday to conclude head coach Jeff Scott’s first season at the helm of the program. “Sure, our record rendered us ineligible for consideration for any recognized, sanctioned holiday bowl games,” said Scott. “But if there’s anything…

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